The Long John Index Service of Canada

Keeping Canadians Warm and Entertained since Mid to late October

Canada News

2015 - 2016 Winter Season Preview

Canada NewsColin MacIntyreComment

Good News everybody! Winter is back!

Okay sure there isn't 20 feet of snow on the ground, and the temperature hasn't dropped 900 degrees ( at least, not the provinces), but we here at the Long John Index feel the temperatures are cold enough that we are declaring the 2015 - 2016 Winter Season officially open! 

Now there are reports that this winter will be somewhat mild  for most of Canada, but be that as it may, we still have a number of fun things planned, Including:

  • The Canada Weather Maps - They will start once the daytime highs hold steady around a Long John Index of 1
  • The Canada Wide Forecast-  This will be on the blog, as per tradition!
  • Snapchat - we are at longjohnindex on Snapchat! More snaps to come
  • Photo contests - You win a Long John Index Toque! Contest details to come!
  • Long John Index Guide to Winter - Our very own ebook! Currently progress. Release details to come.
  • The Long John Index (online) will be 6 years old in January 2016! 6 YEARS OLD! There will be cake!
  • More T Shirts and maybe Bunnyhugs?

As always, you can follow along on Twitter and Facebook, or send us an email! Here is to a great winter! 


Rogers Acquires Long John Index for $294; Carrie Doll new Chief Intern

Canada NewsLong John IndexComment


Rogers Communications has acquired the 'Long John Index Service of Canada' from the Canadian Government for $294. The deal completed yesterday, is another step in Rogerses expanded push into the Albert Market.

"We're obviouisly very excited, we love to buy things" said Rogers CEO, Rod Rogers. " We feel that the Long John Index goes well with our media strategy, including TV, Web, Radio, Magazines, Newspapers, and Church Newsletters."

"This is a big day for everyone at the Rogers Family" added Rogers CFO, Rob Rogers. "I've been a fan of Rod's for a while, and I am very excited by the moves he is making.

There will be some personnel and restructing at the Long John Index. Carrie Doll, formerly of CTV Edmonton News, will replace Colin MacIntyre as the 'Chief Intern'.  Doll will be the face behind the newly restructured ' Rogers Presents 'the Long John Index' by Rogers', when it re-launches November 1st. MacIntyre was terminated.

Bob Rogers, head of "Rogerses Miscellaneous Purchases Division" says Rogers has big plans for the Long John Index.

"Certainly once we figure out what it is they actually do here, what the Chief Intern's role is, and why they have all these interns and wildlife running around, we'll be able to turn this into a viable web property. Oh and we'll be putting up a paywall." he added.




Poll: Canadians Support Moose in 'Moose-Shark' Conflict

Canada NewsLong John IndexComment

Original Photo courtesy @auraborealis199 , taken near Timmins, Ontario

With news this week that a Greenland Shark had attacked and almost choked on a piece of Newfoundland (and Labrador) Moose, many Canadians are wondering: is the Shark / Moose ceasefire over? Is War Imminent?

And more importantly, “Whats a Greenland Shark doing off the coast of Newfoundland eating Canadian Mooses? Do they not have Mooses in Greenland? Eat your own Mooses! You don’t see our Sharks coming over to Greenland and eating your Mooses!”

In anycase…

While many people are concerned, a completely unscientific poll of Canadians reveal that without question, in Shark vs Moose, Canada backs the Shark.


“I’m firmly in Moose Camp”, says @Erin_Bourne


“Would frankly put my money on a moose. Have almost been eaten by them repeatedly; never a shark. #notevensnowsharks” says @yegmapgie


“Perhaps the polar bears can mediate?” @pattimar13


Polar Bears could not be reached for comment. (Actually thats not true, they could be reached, but they were too busy drinking double doubles to comment.)


Whatever the future holds for Sharks and Moose, it’s clear that relations between the two species are at an all time low.