Hello Canada! Due to an unscripted unrehearsed internet failure Thursday morning, we weren't able to access the Long John Index blog. We WERE Able to access the twitter feed from a smartphone, but that was all.

We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused. We realize that, shockingly, some of you USE us for ACTUAL weather information. We feel bad for letting you all down. Rest assured we've taken steps to make sure we can still deliver your Long John Forecasts, regardless of whether the internet cables are frozen.

Thank You Merci for your patience, and Keep Warm,

The Staff and Lowly Interns at the Long John Index Service of Canada.

How the 'Long John Index' Works

Disclaimer: The Long John Index is a 'not-scientific-whatsoever' method of measuring when, and if, one should be wearing a pair of thermal long underwear, known more commonly in the Dominion of Canada as 'Long Johns”. It is used for entertainment and gambling purposes, and should not be confused with your preferred weather service.

The Index runs on a scale from 1 to 5; 1 being the lowest, and 5 being the highest, and starts at the Freezing/Melting point of 0 Degrees Celsius ( or 32 Degrees Fahrenheit). The simplest way to understand the Long John Index, is as the temperature drops, the Long John Index goes up, and subsequently, the time you should be spending outside without wearing Long Johns decreases. You can learn more here

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