The Long John Index Service of Canada

Keeping Canadians Warm and Entertained since Mid to late October

Long John Index Royal Flush

Canada Wide Forecast and All Request Index - November 30, 2012

Long John IndexComment

Canada was oooooohhhhh so close to a Long John Index Royal Flush this morning, wherein all major cities are reporting at least a Long John Index of 1. We had every city across the country, from St. John's through Toronto, down to Moose Jaw, up to Whitehorse, back down to Prince George, and then came to SUDDEN HALT in Vancouver, where it was +9. SIGH. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Vancouver, Kamloops - NA
Edmonton, Calgary, Fort McMurray - 3
Red Deer - 1
Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg, Thunder Bay - 1
Sudbury - 3
Toronto - 1
Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City - 3
Charlottetown, Halifax, Fredericton, St. John's - 1
Iqaluit, Inuvik - 3
Whitehorse, Yellowknife - 4
Alert, Top of Canada - 4

ALL REQUEST INDEX! Thanks for your submissions everyone!

Arnprior Ontario - 1
Humboldt Saskatchewan - 1
Oshawa Ontario - 1
Milk River Alberta - NA


New Additions to the Glossary of Canadian Terms

Long John IndexComment



Canada is a country that is wide and vast in language as it is space. And Trees. A Canadian on the West Coast will say 'Eh' much differently than someone in Manitoba. Or Peterborough. ESPECIALLY Peterborough. Thats why we at the Long John Index, in addition to our valuable weather watchering, track terms and phrases in the Canadian language. As a service to you, we post them here, so that when people are talking about POLAR BEAR ALERTS or LONG JOHN INDEX ROYAL FLUSH, you'll know what they are talking about!

The Additions:

LONG JOHN INDEX ROYAL FLUSH - is a situation wherein all major cities across Canada have temperatures below the freezing point, and therefore qualify for a Long John Index Forecast. Long John Index Royal Flushes are generally issued during the day time, but will be issued overnight, should the opportunity arise. This phenomenon is very rare, due to the varied climate zones across the Canada, and also due to Toronto usually avoiding a Long John Index at any and all cost.

FOG MOOSE ALERT - Occurs during Foggy conditions when Moose, which are as common in Canada as sparrows or coffee cups, become dissorientated and wander into places they normally don't go. It is very common to all of a sudden find a Moose in shopping mall, in line at a popular coffee chain, or in some extreme cases, in your bathroom. It is advised that during Foggy conditions, be extra careful that you don't bump into a moose in your own shower.

Canada Wide Forecast - January 12, 2012

Long John IndexComment

We don't get to say this very often, but the weather is pretty much the same across the Dominion today. The 24 hour cold snap is over in Alberta, as the temperatures hover in an around the freezing point, and Winter continues to linger in Quebec and the Maritimes! The Coldest spot is in Manitoba/Western Ontario, which should make the Winterpeggers very proud. Like yesterday, there was almost a Long John Index Royal Flush this morning, but alas, it was again broken up by Toronto. What up with that Toronto?

Be sure to send in your city and town requests for tomorrow's 'All Request Index'! We'll give you the Long John Index for any place in the world!

Vancouver - NA
Kamlooped, Edmonton, Calgary, Fort McMurray NFLD, Saskatoon - 1
Regina - 2
Winterpeg, Thunder (Danger) Bay - 3
Sudbury - 1
Toronto - NA
Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City, Fredericton, Halifax, Charlottetown, Green Gables, St. John's - 1
Iqaluit, Inuvik - 4
Yellowknife - 3
Whitehorse - 1
Alert, Top of Canada - 5

Canada Wide Forecast - January 11, 2012

Long John IndexComment

It's Sir John A MacDonald's Birthday, and to Celebrate JMac's birthday, everyone in Canada woke up to Cold Weather this morning! In fact, Canada almost had a 'Long John Index Royal Flush' at 7am mountain time, with every major city reporting a Long John Index.....except for Toronto! Thanks Toronto (Grumble). Temperature actually plunge in Alberta and Saskatchewan! PLUNGED! Will actually be not to bad across the country, though pretty brisk in Saskatchewan, Manitoba and New Brunswick. Some snow in Western Ontario and the Maritimes, and then if that wasn't enough, Sun on the West Coast! What a wonderful crazy country!

Vancouver, Kamlooped - NA
Edmonton, Calgary - 1
Fort McMurray NFLD, Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg - 3
Thunder (Danger) Bay, Sudbury - 1
Toronto - NA
Ottawa, Montreal - 2
Quebec City, Fredericton - 3
Halifax, Charlottetown, Green Gables, St. John's - 1
Iqaluit - 4
Whitehorse - NA
Yellowknife - 3
Inuvik - 2
Alert, Top of Canada - 4