The Long John Index Service of Canada

Keeping Canadians Warm and Entertained since Mid to late October

April 14, 2011 - POLAR BEAR ALERT

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A Polar Bear Alert has been issued for the regions of: Edmonton, Calgary, Banff, Red Deer, 2 Hills, 3 Hills ( But not 4 Hills), Grande Prairie, and Drumheller. These regions will be experiencing blinding snow, which makes conditions perfect for polar bears to stealthily sneak up on people to stubborn to put on a touque and try to tuck their head into their collars of their spring coat. 

This alert will be maintained until 8pm Mountain time, or whenever the Canadiens game is over ( it may go into Overtime). It is advised that people in this region take extra percautions, including warm hats, hot chocolate, and be on the lookout for Polar Bears at all times.